There is something special about growing plants from seeds. A basket of seeds has been around in my home since 2008. I finally accept that this was an assignment to the self that I will not get around to dealing with anytime soon. The seeds need to go and reduce the clutter in my home. Life needs to be simplified.
I seem attached to the seeds; they were a symbol of love for me, and I can't let go easily. The literature says narcissists assign high value to objects, indeed I do, but not to what public considers of high value but to what I consider of high value.
Once I buy something and bring it home it's as if we're connected for the rest of our lives. But, this is for as long as the object has a promise of potential future use. One little chip in a corner of a plate, and I either paint that corner or throw it away. But, I don't throw away at the rate that I buy, so stuff piles up. As part of my healing right now I am committed to having less objects and more feng shui.
The next question is how to get rid of the seeds. Just dump in garbage or find someone who could actually enjoy planting them. I think of one group where someone may be interested but I really don't want to be around these people anytime soon. I am also not sure if the seeds would work after three years.
So, off the seeds go, straight to the garbage.
Plant seeds are gone. While at it I took a shot at cassette tapes from years and years ago. Threw away about a 100, two shoe boxes full of tapes. There still are two more shoeboxes full of tapes though. Will throw some of those after I listen one more time and some of those, like where I hear the voice of an ex-lover, will stay till I die.
ReplyDeleteI like to look at the past once in a while, if all thrown away I'd be left to fading memory, we know how steadily decaying human memory is as one ages.
I wonder if I am also a compulsive hoarder. My home is clean, I have no wasted pizza boxes or anything like that. But, I do have a lot of stuff that meant something to me in the past.
I wonder if my keeping old objects around suggests living in the past. Am I having a hard time of letting go of the young me? Am I doing this because my parents never really spoiled me?
It was great to be able to spoil myself and establish the narcissistic defense mechanisms, but I am grown up now.
It is much more important to stay true to self and that suggests one remains age appropriate. On that note, the outifts that are not age or image appropriate need to go.