Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Degree of NPD

They say that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder would 
  1. Fear losing their identity.
  2. Fear dependency and avoid bonding.
  3. Create rigid personality boundaries (can't get close).
  4. Are sensitive to everything that leads to bonding.
  5. Lose interest in sex that leads to bonding.
  6. Seduce and withhold to avoid bonding.
  7. Minimize feelings that lead to bonding.
  8. Get nervous when things go well or bonding occurs.
  9. Pick fights and create uproars to avoid bonding.
  10. Want more space or have to run.
  11. Can't make a commitment.
  12. Are indifferent to others.
  13. Feel entitled to be taken care of their way.
  14. Won't put up with discomfort.
  15. Have complete control of the schedule.
  16. Say to their partner “Just stay put while I come and go.”
Based on this list I don't have NPD but I definitely show some of the traits: 1,2,3, 10, 11, 14, 15.  I want to work on all of these, so then I should
  1. Not worry about losing my identity (as a professional?  as a person?)
  2. Allow for mutual dependency (only in a way I would not risk my well-being, and in a way they would not get parasitically dependent over a certain period of time) 
  3. Communicate my personality boundaries in a way that allows room for compromise
  4. (10) Work on sharing my space, and not run away as soon as it gets uncomfortable 
  5. (11) Settle with my home and start working on making a commitment
  6. (14) Try to desensitize to discomfort (temperature, humidity, hunger, smoke, etc.)
  7. (15) Give people a chance to get me on their schedule, see if can go for equality here, I can always invite/schedule less so they can invite more.

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