They say that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder would
- Fear losing their identity.
- Fear dependency and avoid bonding.
- Create rigid personality boundaries (can't get close).
- Are sensitive to everything that leads to bonding.
- Lose interest in sex that leads to bonding.
- Seduce and withhold to avoid bonding.
- Minimize feelings that lead to bonding.
- Get nervous when things go well or bonding occurs.
- Pick fights and create uproars to avoid bonding.
- Want more space or have to run.
- Can't make a commitment.
- Are indifferent to others.
- Feel entitled to be taken care of their way.
- Won't put up with discomfort.
- Have complete control of the schedule.
- Say to their partner “Just stay put while I come and go.”
Based on this list I don't have NPD but I definitely show some of the traits: 1,2,3, 10, 11, 14, 15. I want to work on all of these, so then I should
- Not worry about losing my identity (as a professional? as a person?)
- Allow for mutual dependency (only in a way I would not risk my well-being, and in a way they would not get parasitically dependent over a certain period of time)
- Communicate my personality boundaries in a way that allows room for compromise
- (10) Work on sharing my space, and not run away as soon as it gets uncomfortable
- (11) Settle with my home and start working on making a commitment
- (14) Try to desensitize to discomfort (temperature, humidity, hunger, smoke, etc.)
- (15) Give people a chance to get me on their schedule, see if can go for equality here, I can always invite/schedule less so they can invite more.
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